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National Lampoon's New Years Vacation

sunny 44 °C

I finished the first series of my travels and I begin here with the next. Having left Chile on 26 December we arrived in Auckland 11 hours later on the 28th having missed a whole day of our lives. Yes, thanks to our English Time Overlords I was not physically on the planet for the 27th December. A few hours later we were in Sydney where we were meeing and staying with Alex's ma, pa and sister the Harris's AKA the Griswold Family. We also continued our champagne backpacker lifestyle (and yes we have been quaffing quite a bit of the stuff) by booking into our five star luxury pad. The purpose of going to Sydney first was to spend part of the Xmas/New Year festivies with the Griswolds who had come over to Sydney to see sister Natalie who had been here since last May.

I weren't too bothered about coming to Australia but I tell you what Sydney, on first impressions, and the country as a whole, is f*cking great. Most people are just happy, friendly and chilled out and Sydney itself is a beautiful city with its Harbour bridge, sky tower, harbour and Opera House, beautiful women and beaches. There's no doubt its got to be one of the most picturesque cities in the world, especially around the harbour. It's also supposed to be behing England but to be honest I found it to be the opposite. There's a lot going about it and a lot of things going on to keep you occupied. The only draw back was that by coming back into the "first world" I found that all the civil liberities I was enjoying in South America were taken away from me. Like England, and more so the US, there are too many rules regarding your every movement. For example, at the beach suburb of Manly there this big "Welcome to..." sign, then a list of things you can't do underneath. No smoking, no drinking, no dr"gs, no spiking other people's drinks. Well after I read that I knew there was no place for me there and I had to distribute my big bag of rohypnol pills somewhere else.

Now the main reason why we came to Sydney was to spend New Year's together as one big faaaaaaaaaaaamily. And Sydney is meant to be pretty spectular at that time of the year. The problem for me is that I still can't really confirm whether it is or not. Having spent a whole night and next morning trying to get drunk and failing I now considered myself somekind of uberdrinker banging down the octupal measures. How stoopid I was. For those who know my Jersey life know how endearing I am to Natalie's friends, otherwide known as the Clan, and there were a few members over at the same time who I could not avoid although in someways it was preferable, such as Joanne McConnell, Ainsley Aherne (one of the few I haven't offended yet) and Rebecca Reynolds (who I was just about to). By eleven I was displaying my unhappinness with Rebeccas liberty taking ignorance I was told in no uncertain terms to get a grip on myself or something along those lines. Well I'm a taurus and if you're going to show me a red rag then don't expect me to my horns to myself. "Who the f"ck are you talking to you skeleton-faced b!tch". Oscar Wilde himself would have been proud of my display of wit.

By midnight we were out watching the fireworks display, with me barely able to keep my eyes open. An hour later I was wondering around the streets of Sydney on my own trying to sober up, revisiting the party through one door and leaving it through another almost simultaneously. Two hours later I found myself being woke up by a steward from a particular comfy part of a wall. Not to worry too much because I found Alex in just as bad a state as I was. And so a great night was had by all.

Before we left Sydney I was determined to at last get down to some funky tunes at a proper dance club (to this day that is still to be had) and I went out with my bird, her sistr and her Sydney mates with that as my goal. So it was f*ckin' great when Alex deciced at 12 that she was too p!ssed and wanted to go home. She left with Natalies (male) roommate with the keys to my apartment and my bank cards. I was also left with a couple of right Oirish muppets as well, as the only other ones I liked had left with their respective birds and Natalie had left with some Kiwi fella. P!ssed off, I went home then realised that Alex was going to stay back at Natalies gaff (why, when we were just staying down the road, you might very well ask). You needed a swipe card to get in Natalies block of apartments so I was ringing the buzzer incessantly to get their attention (not realising I was ringing the wrong number). Continuously being ignored , the anger was rising, so I made an attempt to break in to our apartment (a different one to which we shared with the Arris Family). Thinking my work was successful, I opened the balcony patio doors to find that I was in the wrong room! Luckily it was vacant and I contemplated staying there for the night. However, I thought better of this and decided to try again at Natalie's flat. Again no joy so I was left with no alternative but to wonder around the streets of Sydney all f*ckin' night. On the way though I actually passed the nightclub I wanted to go to but by this time my feet were k!lling me and there was no chance I was going to cut up the dancefloor on my todd at 3 in the morning. Sometime later I was back at Natalie's ringing someone elses doorbell until some guy arrived and invited me to come up to his mates gaff for a few bevvies. So I joined him the plush balcony of a penthouse apartment with stunning panoromic views over Sydney with remote control curtains which was owned by some Cambodian diplomat, having the most boring conversation of my life. I still had time to fall asleep fully clothed on Bondi Beach a 45 minutes bus ride away before I got back to my apartment and aim a volley of abuse towards Alex because of my wierd and shitey night.

And that was Sydney, for now. But I would be back for some more mayhem at a later date. Not long after we were off to New Zealand, which is where I'll pick it up again next.

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Posted by leesio 20:56 Archived in Australia Tagged round_the_world

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